I always walked home alone in fifth grade. It was difficult moving to a new school and meeting new people as it was my third elementary school I attended. I seemed to have lost my motivation to make new friends because they always left me in the end. I dreaded going home when I was younger. I wished I had friends during that time but eventually I would move again to start middle school in a new place.
While going through middle school and half of high school, I wished to be a senior more than anything in the world and graduate. I wanted to leave and live on my own but as I’m counting the days till I walk the stage I realized I don’t want to leave yet.
I’m scared. Scared I won’t be able to make to my dream job. Scared I didn’t live up to my full potential while in high school. But if there’s anything newspaper has taught me, it’s that I can do anything I put my mind to.
I needed to stop hiding in my shell and open up.
Yes, OK I guess I could say I’m weird, but it’s what makes me who I am. It may have taken me almost half a year to break out of my shell while in newspaper and I know some staff wish I wasn’t as talkative as I am now, but I was able to find a family within the staff. I was able to find a group of people as equally weird as me.
My life wasn’t exactly easy but my experience has shown me what not to do whether it’s in a relationship or the choices I should make down the road. It’s officially time for me to say goodbye now.
To “I don’t remember you telling me” and “go straight to the point”: When I do leave, I promise I’ll be OK. I’ll be able to take care of myself. You’ve taught me what to do and what not to do. I love you and I’m sorry if I ever disappointed you. I’ll try to make you proud in the future.
To “oh my god”: I know you probably can’t wait for me to leave because I talk your ear off, whether I come to school earlier for first period or during second to finish my late work, but I want to say thank you. Last year I struggled with interviewing due to being introverted and scared of other people and you were welcoming to new members on staff, which helped me open up to everyone. I know you think I’m weird mainly for the stories I tell and the fact that I now like K-pop, but you’ve also showed me I can do anything I put my mind to. Thank you for putting up with me and actually listening to my problems when I’m not talking about nonsense.
To the chiefs: I remember we all sat at the same table on the first day of school last year. I always thought y’all hated me but now we all laugh and joke together. I’ll definitely miss y’all tearing into my stories and leaving so many comments because I wrote the story late at night.
To country girl: We sat next to each other during choir in seventh grade. I was the new kid and you didn’t want to be there, but we talked to each other almost every day. You always complained and you still haven’t stopped complaining. I’ve enjoyed messing with you when it comes to your obsession with country music. I hope we stay in touch, my fellow yeehaw.
To BTS: You’ve helped me love myself and appreciate the life I have. You gave light to my sorrows and heartbreak. You showed me what real love is supposed to be with your speeches and lyrics. I love y’all so much and I wouldn’t have been able to face my demons without finding you.
High school taught me you have to work for what you want and not everything is going to be given to you. I’ll miss this school and all the memories I’ve made in the past three years, even if some of it was heartbreak, but that’s life. I’ve learned to stop living behind the mask I made while I was young.
So I guess that’s how I’ll end my senior year. Goodbye.
One more thing.
BTS paved the way.