As I sit here writing this goodbye, I reminisce about the memories I’ve created in high school. Both the good and bad.

The times that truly stick out to me are the ones I created during my junior and senior years. In both, I started to expand my horizons and grow as a person. I shared memorable laughs with my friends and will never forget the time I spent with them. Even though we had our rough times, in the end, it made our friendship stronger.

Particularly during my senior year.

When I look back, I wouldn’t look at it as “the time of my life” in high school. It was my year of realization. Unlike my junior year, my senior year was filled with loss. I lost people who I thought were my “real” friends, had a “friend” drop me without explanation because she chose to believe a rumor about me but in the end it made me stronger. I was no longer the girl who sacrificed my own happiness to make others happy. Instead, I turned into a strong, independent woman who knows standing alone by herself is better than being with a group of people who you can’t actually call your real friends.

Now, I would like to thank the people who have made a positive impact in my life throughout the last four years. I know we haven’t always had the best relationship with each other, but you’re all the best part of my high school experience.

To my 15-year old self: Throughout this journey, you’re the one person I thought I failed the most. I know you promised yourself when high school is finally over, you’ll finally get the life you always wanted and no matter what, you won’t stop until you live that life. If I can go back in time, I’d make sure you’d never make that promise to save you from all the pain you’d endure three years down the road. A part of me is sorry I let go of that promise. But I assure you, the life you have now is better than you could’ve ever imagined. It’s the life you were always meant to have.

To the majority of my ex-boyfriends: I’m sorry I dumped you guys in very harsh, brutal ways like a text or a phone call. I hope one day you forgive me and I wish you all the best.

Vivian: I know our friendship has had our tough times, but I want you to know you mean so much to me and I love you so much. You’re the big sister I never had, and for that I’m thankful. I’ll always be here for you, sissy.

Azjane: Girl, I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. For the past four years, you’ve become one of my closest friends and I am glad to say you are one of the few people in my life who I can count on no matter what. I’ll forever remember the laughs and unforgettable moments we shared. I hope when quarantine is over, we can finally go shopping together. I love you so much and continue being your wonderful, beautiful self.

Andre: My dear little brother, yes, I called you that. I know you’re taller than me but I am still older than you. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on throughout the years and for holding me down whenever I was about to do something stupid. Now that I think about it, where would I be without you? Love you, little brother.

Jordin: Goodness, I miss you so much, bro. I still can’t believe it’s been nearly two years since you moved. It seemed only yesterday that me, you and Azjane were laughing while watching Code 9 and 18. Now we’re about to graduate high school. Where has the time gone?

Bina: You have been an amazing friend in the short time we’ve known each other and I am forever thankful to have known you. I can’t wait to see all the accomplishments you will achieve in the future, along with the fact that you’ll be my children’s pediatrician. Love you, girl.

Somari: Oh, old man bones… just kidding. Sort of. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve missed you since you moved and how much I want to throw you into a volcano because of it (again, just kidding). You don’t know how thankful I am to have you in my life. Not only because you’re my best friend, but because you’re my voice of reason and the one person I know who won’t give up on me. Especially when I annoy you and you get on my nerves, making me want to rip out every strand of my hair (which, let’s be honest, happens daily). And even though that happens, I still can’t wait until I see you again and hug you. I love you, weirdo (P.S. read the final sentence of this goodbye because we know this is true, always have and always will be).

My first love: Even though we didn’t end up the way I hoped we would, I’m glad you came into my life. Thank you for giving me the love I always wanted and for showing me despite all my flaws, I am still worth loving. And for that, I will always love you.

And now, I must close this goodbye and be ready for the next chapter in my life. I’m grateful for all the memories I’ve created during this time. Not only have they taught me to be strong, but they helped me grow from the shy girl I once was when I first entered high school to the strong, independent woman I am today.

Lastly, I must say this one last time while I can. Give a girl a pair of heels and she can conquer the world.